Pretty soon a large chunk of 8ballers are going to go to the polls to vote on who they want in power for the next 5 years. As such, a number of groups have started releasing their manifestos and we here at 8ball are doing the same. So let me tell you why you should stick with us until 2022
We Will Build More Affordable Cloud City Housing
It is not fair that in this day and age Cloud Cities can only be afforded by smooth-talking-smugglers-cum-gamblers, with their coffers full of space booty. We all deserve to live in the clouds!
An End To Fraking
We won't stand for it! From now on, the people of the Twelve Colonies must swear like the rest of us!
We Will Replace The Trident Nuclear Deterrent With Actual Tridents
Every man, woman and child in the country will be given a powerful Trident to periodically shake, en masse, at North Korea
Formal Wear Will Now Include The T Shirt Of Your Choice
Meetings, weddings, funerals and everything else will all be fine with you wearing your favourite tee.
We Won't Nationalise The Rail Network, But We Will Nationalise The Monorail Network
This will, of course, involve the building of a Monorail Network. A vast sprawling Monorail Network across the whole country. Don't worry, we know a trustworthy, musical guy who's already had a lot of success with Monorails in Brockway, Ogdenville and North Haverbrook
We Will Eliminate The Bedroom Tax By Eliminating Bedrooms
From now on, everyone sleeps in hammocks
We Will Replace Royal Mail With Ravens
We Will Open Up Our Borders To Immigrants From Alternate Worlds
We will welcome with open arms our counterparts from Earth-2 and Earth-4 (but not Earth-3, the Evil Earth.
Free School Meals To Be Cooked By An Enslave Jamie Oliver
We'll keep him in chains and force him to cook Turkey Twizzlers
Written by Rob Halden