With the election upon us and the campaigning time so short, we thought it's worth giving everyone a quick recap of the parties. However, rather than just do them as normal I'm going to compare them to the Big Bads of Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
1, The Master - UKIP
From the very first season comes The Master. An ancient, evil vampire intent on turning the world (or at least Sunnydale) into his haven of darkness. Unlike many of the following enemies, The Master was the least nuanced of baddies. He was a simple caricature of what a big evil vampire should be like.
UKIP are certainly the least complex of the major parties. Simply imagine what a group of xenophobes would be like and there you have it. Even their leaders seem like cartoon versions of what right wing MPs should be like. Hopefully, like the Master they won't be in the picture for that long.
2, Spike, Dru and Angel - Independents
Season 2 was where the show really started to gather pace. The characters we know and love started to take shape and even the big bads of the season were fan favourites. After the stuffiness of the Master, Spike made being bad fun. The shocking turn of Angel to the dark side provided one of the series’ dramatic high points. Druscilla was... Druscilla, but her craziness was at least as interesting as it was annoying.
Choosing a party for this band would be hard, I don't think any party represents the complex emotions of both loving and hating Spike and Angel. So therefore the independents are the best choice. They are all a little bit different from the mainstream parties, and it's always a bit of gamble whether or not you get an ally in your fight against the darkness, or someone who is going to rip your heart out.
3, The Mayor (and Faith) - Labour.
Richard Wilkins III was mayor of Sunnydale throughout the first seasons but was only mentioned and never seen until its third year. Upon first glance he seems like an average and even likeable man. A friendly face never too busy to pose with girl guides or lecture students on the benefits of clean living. Behind closed doors he was the head of Sunnydale's paranormal underground and struck fear into the hearts of vampires and demons alike. By the end of the season his plan to transform into a giant demon himself was complete.
What’s his relation to Labour? Well it's all in the presentation. As the main opposition they are often seen as being the "good guys" in the political world. Corbyn himself is seen by his supporters as the last decent man in government and almost saintly. However, beneath the skin, Labour are just the same as other parties and just waiting till they win an election to reveal their demonic side. As an added bonus, The Mayor had Faith, the slayer corrupted by evil who believed he was great. In the real world you have Facebook and people who just won't shut up about JC and Labour.
4, The Initiative - Greens.
With the end of the epic season 3 it was time to move out of high school and into college. The Big Bad for this season was a little different, as in theory it wasn't a big bad at all but a human organisation. Although very shady and tough on poor vampires like Spike, the Initiative were generally good guys. It's only towards the end, when they start dicking about with mixing demon bits together to make Adam that they lose their way…
If any party could be considered "good" then it would be the Greens. Saving the environment, keeping people healthy and happy, it's all very nice. But like the Initiative, the tinkering they do could end up harming us more than helping us. Sure they have nice policies that sound good on paper. But their naivety and inexperience could have unforeseen and disastrous economic consequences. While not literally creating a monster, they could do just as much damage to the economy as if they had.
5, Glory - SNP
After Vampires, Demons and cyborg Frankensteins, an almost indestructible attractive woman was a bit of a change of pace. Glorificus was the goddess of another dimension who was banished to Earth and simply wanted to get back home to regain her former power. Immensely strong, she could barely be touched by the Scooby gang and her only weakness was that she shared a body with a human male who she occasionally turned into.
The SNP certainly shares some of the same traits as Glory. Rulers of their own dimension (or Scotland as is the case). Oddly untouchable and only able to have their plans frustrated and not be destroyed. In the show, Glory wanted to unite the dimensions and create a hell on Earth. In reality, Nicola wants to break up the union and create a hell on Earth. The SNPs only weakness is that when they travel south of the border they become mortals and are able to be defeated (or at least ignored) by normal men.
6, The Trio – Liberal Democrats
Season 6 was a bit weird, and although it had some great episodes it was more about the gang and their relations. It could be argued that the actual big bad of the season was Dark Willow but I prefer to think that it was The Trio. These three were former classmates of Buffy who tried their hands at being evil. Although they came up with some good plans, they generally never made much headway and were constantly thwarted.
Just like the Trio, the Lib Dems are the no hopers of the political world. Part of you sides with them just because they have always been the underdog but mostly you just dismiss them as a party that is never going to get into power. They may pique your interest with the odd plan or policy and then they just disappear into the background again. Although that could all change when you least expect it. Namely by either killing a beloved character or by jumping into a bad political relationship with pure evil.
Speaking of which...
7, The First Evil - Conservative
You knew this was going to happen. The ultimate expression of evil in the universe, an ancient power set on a course of desolation for mankind. A force so totally bent on destruction that it takes all the power, cunning and (in some cases) lives of those who oppose it to even stand a chance.
Then there is the Buffy bad guy who was pretty bad as well I guess.